wat bout pragnant strippers??
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
