I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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