So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
