I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
