if you like me you must not know who I am
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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