Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
