dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
