i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I believe in your delicious
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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