their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
