Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
