oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
