Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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