Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
