I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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