That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you win again, gameday.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
