I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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