Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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