You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
