***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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