I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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