So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
