2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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