He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
