the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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