i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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