wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
