Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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(630): View more from Illinois

Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING

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(+33): View more from France

Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.

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