Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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