I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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