My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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