All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
