shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
