p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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