he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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