Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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