that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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