i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
