And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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