Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize