thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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