I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
