It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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