So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
