she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i drank out of a bidet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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