Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
