Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
