i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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