I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
