Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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