someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
