Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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