I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going