I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.