Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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  (508): well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today http://tfl.nu/xvys
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (1831) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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  (713): I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat. http://tfl.nu/0mmi
  Replies (8) Good night (557) Bad night (2161)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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  (203): my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/bisy
  Replies (9) Good night (600) Bad night (3951) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4572) Bad night (826)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on

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  (204): this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol (1-204): you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on http://tfl.nu/g8v3
  Replies (10) Good night (919) Bad night (3710) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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  (978): i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night. http://tfl.nu/0hsp
  Replies (15) Good night (4110) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (601) Bad night (4044) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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  (709): His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs" http://tfl.nu/qi7o
  Replies (27) Good night (4956) Bad night (1357) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3340) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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  (302): he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks" http://tfl.nu/zxub
  Replies (32) Good night (7055) Bad night (2051) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.

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  (209): I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that. http://tfl.nu/8ygm
  Replies (3) Good night (2312) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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  (336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0
  Replies (4) Good night (2261) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

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  (617): How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity? http://tfl.nu/1m4t
  Replies (7) Good night (1811) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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  (608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol
  Replies (7) Good night (2233) Bad night (332)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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  (606): Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any http://tfl.nu/tvgl
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt

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