Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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