it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
