we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
