put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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