I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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