go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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