so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Congratulations! We have a period
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