your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I smell stomach acid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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