She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
