My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
