you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
