there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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