Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
